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It’s something many of us do without even realising it: asking everyone else for input before we ask ourselves. Friends, family, colleagues, customers — we reach out for reassurance, guidance, or simply to feel more confident about a decision.

And honestly, that’s completely normal. Early in business, leaning on others is part of learning, experimenting, and finding your feet. But sometimes, those habits stick around longer than they need to — and what started as helpful can quietly start to override our own instincts.

In this episode of Seasons in Business, I explore why we sometimes outsource decision-making, and how we can take back ownership without feeling like we have to go it alone.

Why we reach outward

There are a few common reasons we look to others before trusting ourselves:

Seeking reassurance — Wanting to know we’re making the “right” choice, especially when something feels important or a bit scary.
Fear of getting it wrong — Avoiding mistakes, embarrassment, or exposure can make it tempting to defer to someone else.
Analysis paralysis — Too many opinions, or too little information, can leave us stuck and looking for guidance to cut through the noise.
Wanting validation — It feels good to hear that an idea is “great,” but it can subtly shift decisions away from what feels right for us.
Early business habits — When we start out, leaning on others is natural. But over time, we can start to rely on external input more than necessary.

Useful vs. unhelpful input

Not all feedback is equal. If something is outside your skillset — legal, financial, technical — or if you’re too close to a project to see clearly, asking for input is invaluable.

The tricky part is when it starts to override your own instincts, delay decisions, or leave you feeling less certain than when you started. That’s when it’s worth pausing and reflecting on whether the input is genuinely helpful, or if you’re just outsourcing responsibility.

The gentle shift: from permission to ownership

The good news is, taking back ownership doesn’t have to feel hard. It’s about letting your voice come first. Instead of asking, “What should I do?”, try asking yourself, “This is what I’m thinking, what am I not seeing?”

A few small ways to make the shift:

Ask yourself first — Anchor your own perspective before bringing it to others.
Be intentional about who you ask — Keep the circle small and relevant.
Notice the feeling behind the question — Are you looking for clarity or reassurance?
Give it time — Even sleeping on it can help you hear your own voice.

These simple practices help you invite perspective without handing over your decision-making.

A thought to leave you with

As Maisie Hill writes in Powerful:

"Being powerful necessitates that you be the expert in your own life. Instead of seeking the opinion and permission of others, you will learn to trust your own intuition and judgement, listening to that inner voice that knows what is best for you, rather than being swayed by external pressures or expectations."

Sometimes, the permission we’re really waiting for is the one we give ourselves.

Links and resources mentioned in this episode

Powerful by Maisie Hill — A practical guide to trusting your own intuition and judgment, and stepping into your authority instead of seeking permission from others.

Welcome to Seasons in Business, a podcast for creative business owners who want to build something thoughtful and sustainable, at a pace that actually feels good. I'm your host, designer and printmaker Sarah Phelps, and if, like me, you're craving a slower, more spacious way to grow, with a little gentle encouragement along the way, you're in the right place. So turn off your notifications, grab a cup of tea or coffee, and get cosy.
Hi everyone, and welcome back to Seasons in Business. And hello from my new recording space in our new home. It's all honestly still feeling a little bit new, and very unfinished. There are still boxes everywhere, but I've managed to find a calm, cosy corner to sit and record. And it feels really good to be back after a little break.
Today I'm returning to my “Have You Ever” series, where I explore some of the small decisions, habits and quirks that show up in running a business — gently unpicking them, not as an expert, but as someone who's just fascinated by why we do the things we do.
And today's episode was actually inspired by a conversation I had recently with another small business owner. We were talking about decision making and how hard it can be when you're working on your own. It got me thinking about something I've experienced a lot in my own business, and that's how easy it can be to step away from trusting yourself and start outsourcing those decisions to other people.
So today I want to explore that a little. Why do we do it? When is it helpful, and when does it become unhelpful? And how can we gently start to take back a little bit more ownership?
So let me start by asking a question: Have you ever outsourced decision making in your business?
And I don't mean outsourcing in terms of hiring or delegating, but more of a subtle “am I asking instead of trusting myself” kind of way? I definitely used to do this a lot. I would ask my poor husband Andrew about everything — branding, creative ideas, pricing, copywriting — decisions that really weren't his to make. And bless him, he tried his best. He'd listen, give thoughtful answers, offer suggestions. But as he reminded me more than once, it was hard for him to help because he's really not my target audience. And I think deep down I knew that, but there was something about asking that felt reassuring. Like if he, or someone else agreed with me, then I must be on the right track. And if they didn't? Well, thank goodness I'd asked, because that meant I'd caught a mistake before it mattered. So it felt useful and sensible.
But looking back, I can see that when I was asking for input, I wasn't always looking for a different perspective. I was often looking for something deeper than that: reassurance, validation, a sense that I was doing things right.
Of course, feedback can be really valuable, but when we're asking friends and family, industry peers, even our customers and audience for their thoughts, it can sometimes mean we're quietly handing over ownership of our decisions and the direction of our businesses to other people. And usually those people don't have the knowledge, experience, or context that we do.
So what's going on? Why do we do this, especially in something as personal as our own businesses? Because when you think about it, we make so many decisions in everyday life without really questioning ourselves. Yet in business, where the decisions are often bigger and more meaningful, it can feel surprisingly easy to look outward and ask others before we've really asked ourselves.
When I started looking into this a little more closely, I learned that there are a few different reasons this shows up.
First up is seeking reassurance. We want to know we're making the right decision, especially when something feels important or a bit scary. And a huge part of this is human nature. We are social creatures, wired for thousands of years to check in with the group before taking a risk. In business, asking someone else if an idea feels right is often just our brain looking for approval, even when we already have a sense of what we want to do. We might still seek opinions to feel more secure — it's comforting because it softens the uncertainty. But,and yes there's always a but, seeking reassurance and approval on a regular basis can quietly override our own voice, even when we actually know what's right for us.
Alongside reassurance, there's the fear of getting it wrong. Making a mistake is often, wrongly, viewed as weakness, and it triggers those same ancient instincts. And in business, decisions often carry a higher stake — financial, reputational or personal — so that fear is amplified. It can feel safer to seek approval rather than fully trust ourselves. We want to be right, avoid mistakes, and please the pack.
Looking for outside input can also lighten the load of potential negative outcomes. When a decision is fully ours, the outcome is fully ours too. So if it doesn't go well, it can leave us feeling exposed and vulnerable. But if someone else has helped shape that decision, even just a little, it can feel like the responsibility is shared.
Another reason we can stall on decisions is the information we have or don't have at the time. Sometimes we have too much information — too many opinions, too many inputs — and we end up stuck in something called analysis paralysis. You know that feeling when you're scrolling through Netflix trying to decide what to watch, and nothing feels quite right because there are just too many options? Well, business decisions can feel a bit like that sometimes when there's too much input or the options are endless. It becomes harder to hear your own voice in the middle of it all.
At other times, it's the complete opposite. We don't feel like we have enough information to make a confident decision, so we reach for someone, anyone, to fill in the gaps and ease the pressure. A little too much information or too little, in both cases, the result is often the same. We look to others, hoping they'll help us find clarity.
There's also a slightly different layer to all of this, and that's validation. That feeling of wanting to be liked, wanting to appear professional (whatever that means), or wanting someone to say that's a great idea. This isn't about the reassurance that a decision is right, it's more about how it reflects on us. A little moment of validation can feel really comforting, especially when you're working on your own. It's like a small confirmation that you're doing things well, that you're on the right track in a way that others can see too. And it makes sense because we're not making decisions in isolation. We're sharing our work, our ideas, and a part of ourselves through what we do. So of course, there's a natural pull to have that reflected back positively. But sometimes in looking for that validation, we can drift a little further from our own voice, shaping decisions around how we think they'll be received, rather than what actually feels right.
And all of these things can become habits early in business life. In the early days, it's completely natural to reach out for advice, tips, or reassurance. We're learning, experimenting, and trying to find our feet, so leaning on others helps build confidence. But over time, as we gain experience and start to understand our work, and the people we’re creating it for, those early habits can stick around. That's when it's worth pausing and asking, am I seeking guidance because I genuinely need it? Or am I ready to trust what I already know? Because sometimes we already have the experience we need. We just need to give ourselves permission to trust it.
Don't get me wrong, asking for input can be incredibly valuable, and it often is. If something sits outside your skill-set — legal, financial, technical — it makes complete sense to reach out. Or if you're too close to a project, getting another perspective can be exactly what you need to see it a bit more clearly. But there comes a point where it stops being helpful when it starts to override your own instincts, or when you gather so many opinions that something that once felt right suddenly unravels. And by the end of it, you're left feeling more unsure than when you started.
So if we notice that we've been outsourcing our decision-making and want to take back some ownership, how do we do it? The shift is actually quite gentle, and there are a few small ways to make it feel a little easier:
- Let your voice come first. It's not about never asking, but trying to anchor your own perspective before bringing it to others.
- If you do want to reach out, be intentional about who you ask. Keep the circle small and relevant to what you're working through.
- Notice the feeling behind the question. Are you looking for clarity or reassurance? Simply by naming it, you can change how you approach the decision.
- And give it time, even overnight can be enough. Let a decision sit and see if it still feels true in the morning.
These small changes can make a big difference because you're not handing the decision over, you're inviting your own perspective in first.
As I was making my notes for this episode, I remembered a quote from Powerful by Maisie Hill that felt really relevant, so I'll share it here:
"Being powerful necessitates that you be the expert in your own life. Instead of seeking the opinion and permission of others, you will learn to trust your own intuition and judgement, listening to that inner voice that knows what is best for you, rather than being swayed by external pressures or expectations."
I think those words are a lovely reminder that real power comes from trust in yourself, and that's so important in your business because no one knows it the way you do. I think sometimes the permission we're really waiting for is the permission we give ourselves.
I'd love to hear from you. Have you ever asked someone what you should do in your business before, you've asked yourself? And if you have, what might it look like to bring just a little bit more of the decision making back to yourself? Come and say hello over on Instagram or Threads @sarahandmaude, or drop me an email, because my inbox is always open.
And if you've enjoyed the show today, please hit follow so you never miss an episode, maybe share it with a friend, or leave a quick rating or review. I know I say this every episode, but it really helps more people find the show and it means a lot.
Thanks so much for listening, and I'll see you next time.

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